It is a common human desire to want to Have it All, Do it all and Be it all– the perfect family, work and personal lives. You may look around (especially on Facebook) and see others ‘achieving’ so you know it is possible and it is with the right tools and support. However, too often you find yourself mentally running around in circles buried under a pile of mini-goals that lack clarity and purpose and not getting where you want to be.
Let’s look at how people approach their lives from different perspectives using the phrase HAVE DO BE or is it DO HAVE BE… hmmm….. BE DO HAVE?
These three little words are very powerful and depending on the order, they create three very different outcomes.
HAVE DO BE: The goal-ditchers
As a goal-ditcher, you start with the HAVE. You are the one who is adept at setting goals, but just as adept at forgetting them. With the limited motivation to achieve and lacking self-belief, you are notorious for abandoning New Year’s resolutions before the end of January! Goal-ditchers, don’t understand and aren’t connected to their ‘why’, so fall into the sequence HAVE, then DO, then (hope to) BE. The perception is that (for example) once you have enough money, you will be able to do what you want and then be happy. Perhaps you think that if there was only enough time, then you would be able to do more and success would follow. What ultimately ends up happening is burn-out, forever chasing a rainbow but never finding your pot of success and happiness at the end as the reliance is on external factors to make you happy.
DO HAVE BE: The goal-chasers
This type of person starts with the DO and is most common amongst entrepreneur and business people; the classic ‘work harder not smarter’. As a goal-chaser, it is easy to become so stuck in busy-mode that you have lost a clear perception of your way forward. For goal-chasers, the pattern is DO, then HAVE, then BE. You tire yourself out with the DO in the belief that you will then HAVE more and then BE happier and more successful. In the same way as the goal-ditchers, ultimately you end up exhausted, never truly achieving the desired results and not able to live your life authentically and freely. The real hamster on the wheel, goal-chasers are forever running around in circles but not getting any or as much traction as you would like.
BE DO HAVE: The goal-getter
Stop for a minute and mull over this – how can you DO anything with authenticity and success if you aren’t behaving and thinking in a way that supports that action?
Guaranteed, your game-changing question when striving for effective goal-setting is not ‘what do I need to DO’, but ‘who do I need to BE’. Change your mindset, change your perception, and you will be amazed at what happens.
The goal-getter is the one who looks at their goals as the endpoint for which to work, without expectation. If you are a goal-getter, you have an accurate perception of your real-world ‘why’ and this drives you in the right direction. As a goal-getter, you ask yourself ‘what kind of person achieves the goals I have set?’ and aren’t afraid of the truth nor hard work. You have a high level of self-belief and strive to first BE who you need to be, before attempting to DO. The HAVE just follows smoothly and naturally, without stress and worry. This is the blueprint for a life that truly flows, but sadly it is the least commonly adopted way we humans like to operate.
Perhaps you are addicted to the struggle?
So, how do I discover who I need to BE?
First and foremost is finding your ‘why.’ Knowing your inner, authentic reasons for wanting to achieve your goal is paramount to successful goal-getting and ultimately smashing them out of the water. If you don’t know your why, keep asking yourself that same question until you come to a reason that sits well with you – you will know it when you arrive there. Practice self-belief, you have the power to transform your world right now.
Specific goals work best for a solid understanding of where and how you are heading in your personal upward trajectory. Don’t set vague goals like ‘increase profit’, make it real by using quantitative measures, such as ‘increase profit by five per cent this month’. In your personal life, instead of ‘lose weight’, you want to ‘lose two kilos in two weeks’. These need to be YOUR goals, created from your personal ‘why’. Trying to achieve a goal you are not 100 per cent passionate about is doomed to fail.
Once you are crystal clear about what you want to achieve and have a solid, attainable perception on your future, you can put strategies in place to get there.
Now ask yourself, what sort of person achieves this goal?
What sort of business owner increases profit? The one who undertakes additional staff training has an open mind to new partnerships or marketing opportunities, is willing to expand their product catalogue or take time to nurture client relationships.
What sort of person loses weight? One who exercises self-control around food, who is committed to getting out the door and going for a walk each day, the one who finds ways to stay accountable and doesn’t make excuses.
If you are just wanting to do goal-setting there are numerous great self-help books and YouTube clips on goal-setting to access which will serve you well.
If you are looking to be a goal-getter then once you change your mindset to start with BE, then DO and HAVE, you will start to see a lasting change for the better in every aspect of your life.
As for the goal-ditcher? Well, they stopped reading three paragraphs ago…