Is micro-managing frustrating you, but you can’t let go?
You may be running a ‘need to be needed’ strategy…
This week I am crew on Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) training (brain-language); which I LOVE to do as I really enjoy seeing other amazing coaches train and absorb the latest and greatest techniques whilst helping new coaches breakthrough their ‘stuff’ to be clear to serve their clients… it ticks all my boxes ?
Yesterday we touched on the ‘need to be needed’ strategy. Now, we all have strategies on how we ‘do life’, they are unconscious, they are our programming and are developed from society, our parents and our experiences. These run everything we do from buying a chocolate bar to decision-making, delegating, (dis)organisation and procrastination and so much more (yup we have a love strategy!). ALL are effective and successful however are they getting you to where you want or need to be?
Are YOU running a ‘need to be needed’ strategy?
Are you the person in the organisation or team that everyone comes to find out how to fix the photocopier or knows who to talk to about x… all the information is stored in your head i.e. just go ask Carol…
…OR do you find that you are sacrificing yourself to get things done, people are not stepping up, you are losing faith in them and so are micro-managing. Everything has to go through you and it is driving you nuts?
…. then you probably are.
The Results? A dysfunctional team at home or work. You may be over-functioning and going on burnout and you are creating under-functioners.
Running this unconscious strategy could have resulted in serious consequences for one of my clients – a nurse. She was doing everything for her teammates which meant in a crisis, if she was not available, the team did not have the ‘tools’ to deal with a patient or situation.
For my client on a day to day basis whilst she felt helpful and significant; she was also resentful (at a situation she created), going on burnout, and not getting home to her family on time.
When we uncovered the strategy she had been running for years it took less than 30 minutes to change it to a more resourceful strategy. She is now home on time, has more satisfaction at work and the team have simply stepped up and filled their own knowledge void.
Here’s an easy way to check which strategy you are running
- Need to be Needed – There will be big gaps in the manual or it doesn’t exist (so they come and ask you)
- Want to be Needed – Still need to come and ask you (unless in your team) as there is lots of assumed knowledge
- Need to be Wanted – The manual is done but filed on your desk (call me if you need anything!)
- Want to be Wanted – The manual is done, complete, a monkey can follow it. AND if you want to catch up for a coffee one day – cool… or not… I’m fine ?
That is just one strategy you may be running in your life!
If you feel stuck or life isn’t going quite how you want it it’s probably due to one or more of your strategies for life no longer working for you in the season you are in. If that is the case and you want to switch it fast then book in a chat and let’s see how I can help.
Mantra for the week: “I am enough”