7 Steps to Personal Mastery

7 Steps to Personal Mastery

Personal mastery may sound like something only achieved by Jedi or the highly-trained elite, but it is something we all WANT and it is not out of reach.

“…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment.”  ― Leonardo da Vinci

Personal mastery is living in a state where you are guided by principles such as purpose, vision and values. You truly know yourself – your authentic self – and aren’t afraid to let it shine. You intimately know your own strengths, motivators, stressors, core needs and energy. Life is viewed differently and, as a result, you are open to the numerous positive opportunities presented each day.

Personal mastery is to be successful in every aspect of life. It is where you are energised and motivated towards reaching your goals. You operate with an open mind, reacting positively to the world around you. 

With personal mastery, you can Have Be Do it all!

According to Master Yoda; “Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” So, use the Force you have within!

Truly knowing, accepting ourselves and operating in our genius zone.

How do you achieve personal mastery?

Through life coaching, you have the tools and insights to quickly and effectively smash through your success blockers, create good habits, boost your performance, step out of your comfort zone and foster exceptional results in your career and personal life. Your coach is your guide to whom you are temporarily accountable and challenges your everyday performance for the better. With your coach by your side, you strive to reach the pinnacle of success. Through personal mastery, you become the best version of yourself.

“Get out of your own way to be who you wish, rather than wishing who you might be.” Francinne O’Rourke

What does a life coach do?

When you are with your coach, you are in a safe space where you can ‘be’. Your coach will work with you on strategies for self-acceptance, overcoming fear and building resilience. They offer unique insights and a different perspective to guide you towards your goals and continued personal growth. With your coach, you have the time and space to take stock of where your life is headed and, as a result, plan to successfully move your life in the right direction. Onwards and upwards to complete personal mastery!

Transform from the person you are, to the person you need to be.

Effective coaching gives you clarity and momentum for mindset change, as well as space to examine where you sit between your vision and reality. This is where you take the steps to move from the person you are, to the person you need to be to achieve your goals. 

Let’s look at an example of how changing your mindset propels you towards a goal.

You want to be fit and healthy (who doesn’t?!). Hence, your goal for the arrival of summer is to look and feel amazing for all those long afternoons at the beach. To become that person you WANT to be, who do you NEED to be? Move away from being the person buying takeaway three nights a week, making excuses for not exercising and not getting enough quality rest to function at full capacity. Instead, become the person who has a healthy handle on self-worth, has respect for their body and makes the right choices. Be the person who eats well, finds time to exercise and is disciplined enough to shut off the lights at a reasonable hour.

Once you are that person, you will be on the path to your goal – achieving your rocking summer body! Similarly, for success in every aspect of your life; become the person you need to be and results will follow. 

If you have been doing it your way but failing to get results, will-power and sheer force can only get you so far. It may be time to get outside help.

What are the advantages of coaching?

A coach is trained to bring out the best in you. They have the knowledge, insights and tools on board to quickly and seamlessly guide your personal growth and transform your life.

Life coaching offers you the following advantages:

  • Fast-tracked results
  • Time and tools to map your life and create a path forward
  • Guidance to determine and then smash your success blockers
  • Accountability
  • Skills to turn life’s challenges and changes into opportunities
  • Help in identifying internal and external roadblocks and how to get rid of them
  • Insights to gain clarity about what you really want in life and become serious about achieving it
  • Helping you create momentum for faster and easier goal achievement

With the guidance of a life coach you become crystal clear on your goals and priorities. You are better able to leverage your strengths and become pulled towards your goals. No longer will you suffer exhaustion from constantly pushing and flogging yourself for your perceived weaknesses. 

If you’re ready for massive personal growth and would like to work with me through individual coaching, book in for a Free Blockage Breakthrough Session to discuss what’s possible for you.

7 Steps to Personal Mastery

 

 

There are seven core components of personal mastery. Each is a vital stage in the process towards becoming the best version of yourself, therefore harnessing your ability to Have Be Do it all.

Let’s look at each of these, one by one.

Vision:  

Few people have a real sense of personal vision; it is often nebulous (like a cloud) in the back of their mind. A personal vision is powerful and provides you with the energy, focus, clarity and motivation to change. It’s like a point on the horizon to guide you and keep you on track, giving you a purpose-driven life. Without it, you may wander around aimlessly, unfocused, attracted by the next ‘shiny coin’. The days turn into weeks and years with minimal fulfilling achievement.

“A clear vision, backed by definite plans, gives you a tremendous feeling of confidence and personal power.” ― Brian Tracy

Purpose:

Purpose fuels your passion, it gives you energy and keeps you going when times are tough. You want to find meaning in life because you want to make a difference.  Being clear on your unique talents, gifts, strengths and ‘why’ you do what you do pulls you forward in life and ignites the Law of Attraction.

Values:

Realise your personal purpose and vision and live your values through uncovering, discovering and discarding limiting beliefs. Say goodbye to your old rule book for life that has been blocking you from moving forward. Be clear on values you consciously choose to hold (which you can change if they no longer fit). Redesigning the rules around how you achieve your goals is paramount to a fulfilling life lived with integrity and authenticity.

Alignment:

When your vision, purpose, values and behaviours are congruent with each other and in alignment, life just flows and you are energised, motivated – ON FIRE.

If you are out of alignment, you will find yourself pursuing courses of action that create inner conflict. This often works against your potential or strengths, therefore leading you to throwing more of yourself at any situation. You may develop a fear of failure and adopt behaviours that do not serve you. Overwhelm sets in as the minutiae of life takes over and your ’holics’ may come out to play (workaholic, stressaholic, chocoholic, Netflixaholic etc…)

Perception:

Perception is your reality, so learning to perceive yourself accurately is vital to mastering yourself. We all have our own ‘map of the world’, the frames of reference we use and our ‘lens’ through which we see other people, events and situations. Our way of seeing impacts our way of being. This links to personal awareness, and as a result it is your self-identity and self-concept that is the source of your self-esteem.

“Is how I see myself and what I stand for the same as others see me?” Peter Senge, author of the book The Fifth Discipline Field-book

Awareness:

Truly knowing yourself – what makes you tick, your wants, drives, needs, desires, preferences, energy givers and energy stealers – is a very powerful tool in your personal mastery bag of tricks. Self-awareness is the ability to be an observer of self, without judgment. What are you really like; what are your patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving.

The things we’re not aware of often control us. So, take stock and discover which buttons are being pressed when interacting with others and the resulting patterns that drive you.

With this awareness and ensuing emotional intelligence, you can leverage your strengths. Take the opportunity to develop good habits that will positively shape your thoughts, actions and approach to challenging situations.

Transformation:

Finally, there is transformation. This is the creative capacity we all have to re-shape, re-new or re-invent ourselves to be more in harmony with our personal vision, values and purpose.

You have created your current reality, the good news is you also have the power to recreate it. Your thoughts, actions and beliefs now support this ‘season’ of your life and the renewed goals moving you forward in your personal growth journey.

Transformation happens when you consciously develop the tools and self-awareness to support you in bridging the unavoidable gaps between your vision and present reality.

If you’re ready for massive personal growth and would like to work with me through individual coaching, book in for a Free Blockage Breakthrough Session to discuss what’s possible for you.

As Master Yoda says…Do or do not, there is not try”

 

Changing your mindset through positive coaching

Changing your mindset through positive coaching

 Changing your mindset through positive coaching

Do you feel your life constantly runs at the mercy of others? Time and time again, something happens to you that impacts your ability to shine and be that awesome person you know you are inside?

Do you feel you are living at the effect of other people’s agendas and events, and that life is impacting on you rather than you on it? You are running late again – is it because the bus wasn’t on time, the car wouldn’t start, the kids were acting up or that tradie you needed was overdue? By the time you get to your destination you are distracted, flustered, annoyed and embarrassed.

It wasn’t YOUR FAULT!

Maybe you are finding your relationships are strained; your mother-in-law insists on giving the kids junk food when you have politely asked her not to; your work colleague is skiving off again; the house is a mess and it comes back on you to sort it out. You have become resentful, angry, exhausted and it takes a mammoth effort to control your temper at these people around you.

This is perfectly normal!

Above & Below the line

Let me introduce you to the concept of ‘above and below the line’. Every day, we all encounter situations where we can choose to react either side of this imaginary (yet very powerful!) line. Sometimes we will take the high road, other times our base instinct will kick in and we will stumble. It is human nature, but it is important to understand why we think like this to foster successful habits, build on your prosperity mindset and live a more fulfilling life.

Our brains are hardwired from the dawn of creation to switch into fight or flight mode whenever there is a perceived threat, however these days we do not often find ourselves being chased by a wild animal, but what comes under threat is our ego or personal identity from outside influences. Our limbic brains can’t tell the difference – we react and get defensive just as we would if we were about to become lunch for a sabre tooth tiger!

This reactive thinking is known as ‘below the line’. It is survival mode.

Unfortunately, this state shuts you off from your more creative, collaborative, innovative and generous being. Below the line is where you encounter that sense of drama, nothing is ever good enough and you feel disheartened and disempowered. All you want to do here is run, shut down any creative processing, and protect yourself.  Below the line, beliefs driving your reactions will be centred around your story being ‘right’ and dismissing others, or the feeling that someone or something is threatening your desire for approval, control or security. In this state, you will deny you have any control over your circumstances (even though your intuitive in-built BS detector will be off the radar!).

When you are operating below the line, you may be feeling overwhelmed, seeing only problems and find yourself making statements such as ‘it’s not my fault’, or ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m trying’ and ‘they made me’. Rationally speaking, if everything ‘out there’ is the problem then you truly are in trouble – thank goodness this is only a state of mind and can easily be changed.

The Power of Positive Coaching

This is where positive coaching can help you. Instead of living in the world of blame, excuses and denial, what if you were to stop, take a breath and switch to ‘above the line’ thinking? The choice is yours. Here lies the realm of innovation, possibility, creativity, acceptance, growth, learning, generosity and action. The only difference to our friend running from the virtual sabre tooth? Attitude! When you are operating above the line, you take 100 per cent responsibility for your attitude and behaviour.

You choose to make lemonade when handed a lemon and that glass is certainly half full.

For example, a work colleague makes a comment about your dress. On that particular day, your reaction sprouted up from below the line. You became defensive, angry and reactive – snapping at them for something rather banal. Any other day, you may have been able to laugh it off and think ‘so what if they don’t like it! I love my dress!’

 

What has changed?

Simply your attitude, driven by how you feel. Events happen around us constantly, but the meaning we put to them and how we respond makes these events either positive or negative – and that is where you have a choice. With a little mental coaching, it is easy to switch your thinking and change your mindset.

That said, don’t beat yourself up if you find your thoughts slipping below the line – we are all human.  You can choose to permit yourself to go below the line for a moment and indulge in that juicy gossip or feel that frustration and blame bubbling up, everyone does it! The key is to recognise that when you go below the line nothing will get done – there are no solutions below the line.

 

Pull yourself back up and find a brighter, more creative and more compassionate way of looking at the situation.

 

So, the key to a successful life is to ask yourself  ‘Am I operating above the line today?’

To living life – by design

Francinne

PS: Does this resonate with you?

Are you a high-achieving professional woman who needs some guidance bringing your thinking back above the line? If this is you, and you are ready for personal growth and to start enjoying your life again.  Book in for a FREE Blockage Breakthrough Session to discuss what’s possible for you.

 

5 Reasons to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

5 Reasons to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Oh comfort zone – how we love thee. With life getting busier by the day – work, kids, partners, maybe trying to get to the gym, more work – we tend to opt to stay where we feel safe. Our own personal comfort zone is where we physically and psychologically want to be. It is where we believe there is less anxiety and stress, it’s the emotionally-neutral zone. After all, life throws enough curved balls at us on a daily basis. Why would we want to deliberately rock the boat?

Because:

‘In the long run our comfort zone becomes our uncomfortable zone.’ Charles F Glassman

Too often we are merely operating on automatic pilot, and this is no fun at all! We stay in that job we aren’t 100 per cent happy with, or maintain a toxic relationship or friendship, or go through same boring routines every day without batting an eyelid. We do this because, quite frankly, the effort of making change seems far greater than venturing into the unknown.

Fear is a consistent driving force here. Whether you are scared of failing, or getting hurt, or hurting someone else – you stay stuck. The sad reality is that not stepping out of the comfort ultimately ends in you becoming quite uncomfortable. There are things you yearn to do and a person inside you want to be, but you end up settling.

I have some good news for you – it doesn’t have to be this way.

‘As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.’ Robin Sharma

Humans are designed to evolve, grow, have experiences and transition. You can see that clearly when looking at babies turning into children. It is when we become adults that fear and comfort zones become a reality and potentially our self-imposed jails. You are not able to live the authentic, bold, free life you deserve.

For you, perhaps stress is a factor that keeps you in your comfort zone (it is easier to stay put), but remember that stress is not necessarily a bad thing. Healthy stress is merely friction and can be quite energising. When dealing with frequent stress, use that as energy and impetus to break old habits and make a change.

‘To the degree we’re not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us that we have over ourselves.’ Peter McWilliams

It is time to break free from your comfort zone, change your mindset and start living your life the way you want to. Put the colour back in your world and try something new!

Here are five great reasons to take a chance and step out of your comfort zone.

1. Self-confidence

That elusive self-confidence you are seeking is right there, just on the other side of your comfort zone boundary. It takes a little courage to step outside, but trust me, you will survive and thrive. You will have more momentum, more drive and more energy to keep pushing your own personal boundaries.

Remember the last time you did something that was a bit scary? Remember the exhilaration you felt when you completed it? When I ran the first webinar for my coaching and mentoring program, the fear and anticipation before I turned the camera on was palpable. Afterwards however, the exhilaration and pride of having tried something new and the increased confidence to take it further was incredible! This gave me a real boost and the self-confidence I needed to trust my ability in achieving my goals. You have the power to feel the same.

2. Challenging yourself for improved performance

Ever heard the term rise to the occasion? That is what happens when you raise the bar and step outside your comfort zone. You become more alert and focused, the adrenaline is pumping and you are alive and energised. You have fuelled your fire and learned how to be enthusiastic again! Stop sleep-walking through life, instead move your fear aside and see what other opportunities are out there.

3. Expand your comfort zone and see new opportunities.

Rest assured, the more you push your boundaries, the easier it becomes. Eventually you will be cultivating one of the sought after ‘big five’ personality traits – openness to new experiences. You will be slowly removing your blinkers and a whole new world will open up. You may be surprised by the opportunities awaiting you!

4. Develop resilience

Failure isn’t final – it is only feedback!  If you have stepped up and taken action, no matter the outcome, you have still done something and had a new experience. You will always be gifted with learning, growth and feedback for next time, so don’t give up. Every time you are brave enough to step outside your comfort zone, you are building resilience that will buoy you in working up the courage to try again. Entrepreneurs are very blessed if their first venture takes off, sometimes it is 1000th time, just ask Colonel Sanders!

5. Age better

As people age, their have-new-experiences-muscles get flabby and their comfort zone decreases if not frequently stretched. Those who continue to challenge themselves will enjoy a better sense of well-being as the years go by, and may may even reduce their chance of developing certain conditions such as Alzheimer’s. Experiencing new things helps grow neural pathways, even into older age. This means we function better, think better and communicate better – all while enjoying the life we have created!

‘By the age of 60 a person has swapped the broadness of their mind and the narrowness of their waist.’ Anon

Moving out of your comfort zone does not have to be a huge undertaking – baby steps are fine. One of my favourite sayings is How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!’

So, give yourself permission to be the person you want to be and do the things you want to do. Outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens! You can live freely, create new paths for yourself and move forward in your life with confidence, resilience and opportunities aplenty.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post. Feel free to share it with like-minded friends and family – sometimes we all need a little reminder to get off that hamster wheel every now and then. As a trained life coach as well as someone who knows first-hand how hard it can be to have-be-do it all, I can help you break through your blockages and live a more free, balanced life by design.

Try answering these 5 questions to understand your own comfort zone and let us know your insights in the comments box – we would love to hear from you.

If you are an entrepreneur or business leader and would like some help stepping out of your comfort zone and ready to make a change – book a free blockage breakthrough call.

 

6 Steps to Self-motivation & Creating Habits That Will Last

6 Steps to Self-motivation & Creating Habits That Will Last

Why is it so hard to do the little things that will improve your life?

Lacking self-motivation? Ever had a great idea to make a change in your life and experienced that ping of excitement to get started? Despite finding yourself flat out busy with work, family and other commitments, you feel suddenly driven to set new goals. For example:

  • It’s time to lose weight, clean up your diet and exercise more.
  • You will improve your time management skills and productivity.
  • You will enrol for a new qualification or seek that ideal job.
  • Now is the time to save some money.
  • You want to create a self care plan and spend more quality time with friends and family.

In that moment, your self-motivation is at an all-time high and you can’t wait to get going.

But…just before you take action, another thought kicks in. A rationalisation, a reason, a doubt. This moment’s hesitation stops you in your tracks. Life gets in the way and you have lost that ping.

Did you know most New Year’s resolutions – which seemed like a good idea at 11.59am – are forgotten by January 13? Then, 80 per cent of the time we go and make the exact same resolution the following year, then the year after and so on!

It’s Sunday night, you are buoyed by the thought of a fresh start to the working week (weekend indulgence time is over!) and you feel really inspired to make a new YOU. The fit, healthy, non-smoking, health food guru, gym junkie. You go to bed pumped for your alarm so you can get moving and seize the day.

Sadly, Monday morning rolls around and you have the best intentions, but that self-motivation has fizzled and evaporated before you put your feet on the floor. You are too tired, you have too much to do, it’s cold…..maybe tomorrow.

The reason for the fizzle?

The biological stress response has been triggered and your brain is in protection mode. This all happens in milliseconds, often before the body can catch up. While this stress response is designed to keep you emotionally, physically and psychologically safe, it also keeps you in your comfort zone. You may find it difficult to step outside this zone and make a change.

While you can rationalise your reasons and kid yourself that you will try ‘another day’, the truth is it will never happen without a pit of willpower and discipline to get started.

We all KNOW what we should be doing to look after ourselves and are given the opportunity many times a day to choose either what is good for us, or what feels good. It is human nature to opt for instant gratification, but the problem there is nothing then changes. We are all suffering from the ‘gap’ between knowledge and action. It is too easy to fall into the habit of making these decisions but not acting on them.

The good news is that habits can be broken and retrained with a little coaching and mentoring. Through awareness comes change and you have the power within yourself to make your goals a reality.

There is the saying that it takes 21 days to create a new habit.

You may have experienced this in the past. For example, once you make exercising part of your daily routine, you then WANT to stay with it. Being in the habit of cooking fresh meals makes this daily goal easier. Likewise, once you are systematically putting money aside for saving, you don’t even notice it.

With a new habit in motion, momentum and self-motivation become the results and the driving force for positive change. Your confidence and self-respect grow, your comfort zone expands and you may even be able to tackle your next healthy habit!

So, when you are feeling unmotivated but want that ping of excitement back to create a new, positive habit and reach your goals faster,

how do you get started towards self-motivation?

  • Disrupt your brain.

    Stop the hesitation and consequent spiral into inaction by momentarily disrupting your brain. Motivational speaker and author Mel Robbins recommends something akin to the NASA rocket countdown. Think about something you want to do, then countdown backwards from 5…4,3,2,1 and LAUNCH. You are so preoccupied with the counting, your brain doesn’t have the chance to enlist that biological stress response until it is too late!

  • The elastic band on wrist.

    Simple but effective. Just ping yourself when you start having negative thoughts about what you are going to do, or second guessing and rationalising backing out. As with the NASA rocket countdown technique, this gives you a moment’s disruption to the brain. You have brief clarity to get back on track and heading in the right direction.

  • Set the alarm clock for 10 minutes or 20 minutes.

    The thought of spending hours on a new task can leave you feeling a little cold, so try setting yourself just 10 or 20 minutes to start. You may just find that once you get in to the flow, you can happily carry on, but if not – at least you tried it!

  • Start ANYTHING, do SOMETHING.

    If you are stuck in analysis paralysis and don’t know what to do or how to get started, then just pick something and go. By taking action you will know almost immediately if the change is right for you, rather than sitting back and dwelling on what may or may not be. If nothing else, you will be generating self-motivation and confidence to try something different if you become misdirected. If at first you don’t succeed – try again!

  • Move faster than your brain.

    When starting a new healthy habit such as exercise or activity, have your clothes and any equipment all laid out ready for when you wake up or get home from work. You then don’t have to think at the delegated time, you just DO. This leaves no opportunity to change your mind. Many athletes use this technique and will jump out of bed in the morning, step straight into their exercise clothes and get going. Move fast and your brain won’t have time to object before the body is in full swing!

  • Tap into your why.

    There is a reason WHY you want to make a change or set new goals. Get below the surface and keep questioning ‘why it is important to me?’ Ask yourself at least five times and when you arrive at an emotion, then you have your reason. Use this to your advantage and remind yourself regularly to keep your self-motivation amped up.

So, don’t wish for it – push your fears and excuses aside and make it happen. Unleash the ‘you’ that you were meant to be before life got in the way. Make a decision, take action do it before your brain realises what is going on!

P.S. Does this sound all too familiar but you aren’t sure you can go it alone? There are two ways I can help!

  1. Join my Facebook group of like-minded professional women who are on the same upward trajectory, whether as an entrepreneur or in the corporate world. Here, you can connect, share insights, and chat to women who understand what you are going through and how you are feeling. I will also be posting regular bite-sized, high-impact actions to put into your life through short videos and ongoing support, to further help you live your life by design.
  2. I also offer one-on-one coaching for success. If you are an entrepreneur or professional woman who is struggling with trying to Have Be Do it all, as well as enjoy the life you have created, then we should talk! Be ready for massive personal growth when you work with me privately. To get started, book in for a free Blockage Breakthrough Session to discuss what’s possible for you.
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