Are you cooking your engine? (I was for many years and did not even realise it!)
My ambitious nature saw me working incredibly hard to achieve the goals that I set myself as a business owner or manager and adventure seeker. What I did not realise was that…
…I had one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the break!
Whilst my ambition was strong and I was achieving some great milestones and moving forward – the cost was always me…
…I was sacrificing my soul for success as my internal belief system and therefore internal programs running me were not aligned with my ambitions. So…
…I was putting in a lot of effort and will-power into counteracting my mini-me saboteur.
Fear was my constant companion driving my actions (even though I thought and acted as though I was fearless).
Believing deep down that I was not truly good enough, I was frightened that people would find out that I was an imposter. My antidote was to work stupidly long hours to ensure that I was covering off all bases so that no one would or could criticise or judge me poorly.
I constantly felt that I needed to prove myself by delivering bigger and better projects (that no one asked for…). At times I would neglect the day-to-day tasks – the reason why I was employed – to finalise these projects. THEN I would get upset with my colleagues as ‘they didn’t realise how hard I was working’!!
The result… total burnout
The ripple effects of my belief system (which took years for me to realise was distorted) affected every area of my life from my relationships, health, cluttered home and mind. It left me spiritually bereft YET still thinking…
…’if I just try this and work harder… the power of ‘The Fran’ will bust through and make things happen…
…if I just get ‘this next thing… then I will be happy and fulfilled (and good enough and loved).
I spent years trying to fix myself – reading books, going to talks, buying the cassette tapes and VHS videos (yup it was a while ago…).
It was only when I realised that it truly was my belief system and rules that I had created about how to live a successful life that wasn’t working for me that I could finally admit that…
…my best thinking had me sabotaging myself time and time again.
That realisation was the gift that allowed me to understand that ‘I cannot fix myself’. It gave me the permission to get out of my own way and ask for help.* And so I started working with a coach to:
discover the true me
uncover the blocks that were applying the breaks and
discard what was not working for me…
…ultimately to give me a new set of lenses through which to view my life. My journey to get to know, like, and trust myself ignited my passion and mission to help others to find freedom from these self-created ideas, beliefs and stories that drive them fearfully forward.
I LOVE all the coaches that have spent a season in my life and who have given me the freedom to ‘Be who I wish rather than wishing who I might be’. Di Downie is one of them. Check out my chat with her about mindset, being Powerfully YOU and the benefits of coaching.
